2. Drive a motorcycle, or at least a stick-shift.
3. Beer-bellies depreciate awesomeness by decade.
4. In order to be awesome, one has to be able to walk through a crowded room without totally getting in someone's way.
5. If you like enya, you are sacrificing your awesomeness.
6. Fruit gum is for girls.
7. Never have a picture of you being a mermaid.
8. Learn to disable a 200-pound man with a one pound weight and no hands.
9. Leave "your mama" jokes in 1993. "Your llama" jokes are never amusing.
10. Never own a pet that does nothing when you watch it. Gerbils are not awesome.
11. Awesomeness decreases exponentially whilst mocking this shining list example of awesomeness.
More to come. Maybe.